Everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason.  It has been brought to us with Divine intentions to bring something out of us or to put something into us.  It has happened to slow us down or to push us forward.  It has happened to grow something that is good or bring to an end something that no longer serves us. 

There is a reason and a season for all things.  The bad things that happen to good people also have some good inside of it for the same people.  I wonder if those bad things happening to those good people bring balance on some cosmic scale???!!!  In the reality of life, are there really good and bad people or just people making good and bad choices?  And if everything that happens to us, happens for a reason in its season, and if all is by Divine design, then what is the Divine saying to us?  Are those bad things happening to the good people really bad things or are they things that those people would just rather not have to deal with or face? 

I know some think that death is a bad thing that happens to good people especially when a child is involved.  Death to most of us just feels bad. It does not matter how it happens, it just feels bad.  It is just so emotionally shocking to us.  It feels so final even when you know it is coming.  No one wants to say goodbye to someone they love.  Every person since the beginning of time has left the same way except for a recorded two or three people. 

But death comes for a reason.  That reason may be beyond anything we can comprehend during our time of sorrow. Death in itself is a part of life, or a phase of life.  It is a part of the eternal journey.  It brings an ending and a new beginning.  You see, death just like everything else in this world brings to us what we all must constantly live with, change. 

 All things change and nothing stays the same.  Each day is a different day.   There is a new sunrise or sunset every day.    Each day brings us to something different; no two days have ever been the same. If we take each moment that comes, there will be something different in it for us.  Sometimes those things are minor and sometimes they are major. 

There is a scripture that says,” in all things give thanks.”  If there is good in all bad things, then I should offer gratitude for those things, even if I cannot see them. That is not always easy.   Just because I can’t see them, does not mean they are not there.  But it doesn’t mean that it is not there just because I can’t see it.  The difficulty is once something has been labeled bad, it is hard to go back and see good in it.  But I say that there is good in it because we live in a world of duality that presents us with two sides of  everything.  Everything that has an opposite side is really one of the same with two different views that have been labeled good and bad, right and wrong, up and down, in and out… well you get the point.  What if the labels were reversed?  From another perspective, it probably is.  The person sitting opposite to us is going to have a different view and perspective. 

Who decided what was going to be bad and what was going to be good?  I know in the mind of many, God would be the answer.  Then I would say, if God is the Creator, then God created everything and that includes what has been labeled evil and bad.  To those who are set to reject this idea and want to say the devil created it, I would then play the devil’s advocate and say that God would still have had to create that devil.  And if this is true, God knowing all things and being the source of all that is has created something out of himself that has been labeled evil.  So then, another question would be, is it really evil?  Or is it another thing that exist in this duality to help bring us to change and growth?  What if that was the real purpose for all the things of change that happens to us?  What if the purpose of the devil and bad things are to bring us to greater awareness of who we are and enlightenment to the good inside of us? Or what if it was to bring us to whatever is inside of us that needs to be expanded so that we come to greater realizations of who we are, the potential that we have and to push us forward to our next level of being? 

Sometimes we won’t take the leap to our greater purpose.  So God, nature, the universe, and or life has to push us.  That push is sometimes labeled as a bad thing happening to us.  Just like the boss that has to fire us to force us to leap into our purpose.  Sometimes a love one has to return to spirit for us to realize the depth of our love capacity or inner strength to stand on our own.  Sometimes we must be stripped of all our titles, goods and possessions to set us free to start the life we truly want because we would not have done it ourselves. 

I do believe perceived bad things happen to good people because those good people were destined for change to grow into greater people.  In the same way, bad things happen to other people for the same reasons, so they too can grow into better people.  It is all about growth and change.  Life is all about growth and change for all people.  When that change happens, we call it good things happening. And so good things happen for good people and they also happen for other bad people. I remind myself here that bad people ae bad people because I choose to view them that way or choose to see the bad in them.  I call that part of the societal programming.

We all have two sides.  We show one and hide the other.  One is in the light and the other is in the shadows.  Just like day and night.  How one chooses to label these sides is a programming choice.  Those “bad” or other people do also have a good side and those “good” people have a bad or another side.  So those things that come to us are coming for a reason.  They are not coming to punish and hurt us, but to bless and help us become the better and greater aspects of our already good and other selves. 

Love, Rebecca 

About Rebecca: I am Rebecca Washington. I have not always appreciated myself, my gifts, talents, intellect, internal or external beauty that I possess. The lack of appreciation and acknowledgement has been reflected in how I think the world sees me. But the world can only see what I show it and allow it to see. 

Casting all of that behind me, I believe you must bring your whole self to the table if you want to thrive in today’s crazy world; your personality, your sense of humor, and most importantly, your heart. All of these elements brought me to this:  "Love, Rebecca."

To Meditate

To meditate does not mean to fight with a problem.
 To meditate means to observe.
 Your smile proves it.
 It proves that you are being gentle with yourself,
 that the sun of awareness is shining in you,
 that you have control of your situation.
 You are yourself,
 and you have acquired some peace. 

- Thich Nhat Hahn

Fellowships of the Spirit Psychic Fun Fest - Saturday July 22 

Every summer Fellowships of the Spirit hosts a daylong Psychic Fun Fest and Open House on the grounds of its Lakeside Learning Center, 282 Dale Drive, Cassadaga, N.Y.  We invite you, your friends, and family to join us on Saturday, July 22nd from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. for a fun-filled day.

Come get a ‘mini-reading’ with a certified medium for $15, or have three readings with three different mediums for $40.  Imagine what you’d learn!
Visit our market place and discover the perfect gift for yourself or your friends. Dozens of holistic vendors will showcase hand-made crafts, candles, crystals, jewelry, clothing, health products, books, CDs and more.
Buy a raffle ticket for the 50-50 or for one of a number of outstanding prizes, including certificates for readings with Lily Dale mediums or for a SIT I class, at our specialty gift and raffle tent.
Receive a spiritual healing – free of charge. And then, if you’d like some quiet time, go for a stroll through our privately-owned woodland by the lake, or sit by the water, breathe the fresh air, and feel the atmosphere.
Stop by Fellowships’ reference library and browse the huge collection of rare, spiritually-related books and documents. Then, visit our bookstore and check the hand-picked titles we have to offer.
Enjoy delicious snacks and lunches prepared by resident Master Chef Dave and his staff.
Admission and parking are free. Come and enjoy, rain or shine!

If you haven’t yet met us, Fun Fest is a joyful way to get to know us. And if we have already met, we look forward to welcoming you back to the place your soul can call home.

Since 1988, Fellowships of the Spirit has provided dynamic, in-depth training in Mediumship, the Healing Arts and a broad spectrum of spiritual studies for both beginner and advanced students. In addition, every year we invite some of the world’s most respected teachers of spiritual studies to present master classes, open to everyone, at our Lakeside Learning Center.

 Many of these seminars are broadcast simultaneously online as webinars, so if you cannot be with us in person, you can participate by computer in the comfort of your home. Fellowships’ catalog of classes is at https://www.fellowshipsspirit.org/.

For more information, email fots@netsync.net, or call 716-595-2159.

​A Master is usually known as somebody that is on top of their trade, qualified and certified in their trade.

A Reiki Master is qualified in Reiki at the basic Master level and certified for having attended the workshop and no grading attached. On this understanding the individual’s journey begins, to become a Master, and it is an ongoing life commitment.

At the basic level we are aware that we are mind/body/spirit, yet we neglect the total connection by letting our “Ego” be in charge of decision making.  Our ego only has the knowledge that was learned in this life and not from any former existence. 

In Reiki I and Reiki II level we are still working primarily much with our ’EGO’ and slowly understanding to make our decisions from our heart instead.  Ego guides our decisions and judgments by being humans, but the heart holds the wisdom from times before we chose this life.

Our belief system changes as we develop from “I”, to “We”, slowly including “them” and resolving as “One”. We come away from political belief systems and structures that favor only part of society. Thus we slowly understand we are all brothers and sisters sharing this world.

We are brothers and sisters, we are our brothers’ keepers and that is hard to swallow for many, even Reiki Masters, especially those on their early journey.

When Is A Reiki Master And Teacher Ready To Teach?

First comes attending the appropriate class and becoming attuned to that level.  Then start walking the path of a Master, feeling a calling to get ready to be the Teacher.

For that you need to understand each level and the materials needed to teach. Prepare your classes, the materials, handouts, manuals etc..  Meditation are a great way to get your act together. Practicing the attunements for each level is vital, you are to pass them on as your Master has done.

Preparing can take a few months or years, you will know when you are ready, you may receive gentle or subtle nudges or guidance from your guides.

As a Master and Teacher you will be grateful, honor and respect your Teacher.
You will give respect to other therapists, master and teachers of any lineage.
As Reiki Master you will have given up cheating, jealousy, lies, vices that do not serve you anymore.
A Reiki Master comes from their heart, looks at each situation from their heart and judges from their heart.
A Reiki Master declares his  or her lineage.
A Reiki Master is aware how blessed we are to have been given the gift of Reiki healing, and will seek to keep it honest. 

When you become a Reiki Master by attending the appropriate class you start your journey. It is an ongoing process to developing that Master in you for the rest of your life.

To teach others many preparations and adjustments are needed.  A teacher is to lead by example.

Do not rush into this role, but know when you are ready and do not shy from your calling.

The Reiki Healing Center offers Master and Teacher classes and refreshers for Masters and Teachers to help you get started.  

May You Be Blessed On Your Journey,  Barbara Carlton

About Barbara: Barbara Carlton, the Center’s founder, is a member of the International Center for Reiki Training. She teaches to International standards and the standards of the International Center for Reiki Training which is run by William Rand who is also the founder of Karuna Reiki®. She has over 16 years of experience teaching Usui Reiki and 14 years of experience as a Karuna Reiki® Master. She currently lives in the Rochester area and has a new location at 758 South Avenue where she teaches. ype your paragraph here.

I received an infusion of information last night that I would like to share. It can save many countless hours of suffering. This is how it played out: 

The background- I had received an Auric Energy Healing from Jim Moomaw and at one point he was facilitating by placing a big chi ball in my heart center. He was intending to pull my far out expanded energy back into my heart. It was having the opposite effect, for in my experience, the chi ball acted as fuel to further expand my energy out. It was a very cool experience. It got me thinking about the nature of energy. 

The player- My granddaughter Hailey is living with us so I have access to many of her living habits. Let’s just say at almost 21 years old her hours are free forming and spontaneous as to when she eats, sleeps, studies, socializes and works etc. I have already had to let go of worry by surrounding her in pink and white light and returning her to her guides, angels and a benevolent universe. This had been working very well for me for about a year until last night. 

The story- I awoke to use the bathroom and noticed the light on in Hailey’s room at 2 am. I started to feel concern that she may be experiencing a tummy ache or sleeplessness as she had a few weeks prior. 

The inspiration- It suddenly occurred to me that the energy of concern/worry I was experiencing was just that-energy. If I didn’t take it personally, perhaps I could use the fuel that the energy was providing to switch the polarity of the energy from negative to positive-or at least cancel them both out to neutral. After all, e-motion =energy in motion. Let’s play! 

The action- I can only describe the action as a clear revelation of the nature of energy as fuel closely followed by my intention to experience a flip in polarity. I welcomed the negative and thanked it, then I had a visual of flipping a pancake. I’ve done that many times rarely flipping one out of the pan so I knew I could do it. I felt the gratitude emerging as I noticed a total shift in my perspective. There I was right in the All Is Well zone even though outwardly nothing had changed. I drifted off to a peaceful sleep knowing we are all held in the perfection of love and light. 

The awakening- I awoke to feeling energized, expanded and excited that I had been blessed by this realization. I started to think of all the applications inherent in this simple technique. The possibilities! Shifting annoyance, impatience, anger, sadness or any manifestation of fear to All Is Well, by recognizing energy for what it is. It is simply energy and not something meant to punish and torture us. It is both negative and positive and apparently very malleable and amenable to shifting. 

I’ve often felt that I have been playing a board game here on planet Earth enrolled in a university of 3d studies and experiences. I feel that I have entered the master’s program. We are all masters in our own perfect time line. Perhaps I’ll be moving on to a whole new board game soon! I share this information from a place of love and send it on to you with the angels. May it reach those people who will benefit from it. Thank you! 

About Christine: Hypnotherapist, International Association of Counselors and Therapists, Reconnective Energy Healer, Past Life Regression, Body Wisdom, Shamanic Healing





Tammy’s Blog

The Temple of Love 

The temple of love is not love itself;
 True love is the treasure,
 Not the walls about it.
 Do not admire the decoration,
 But involve yourself in the essence,
 The perfume that invades and touches you-
 The beginning and the end.
 Discovered, this replace all else,
 The apparent and the unknowable.
 Time and space are slaves to this presence. 

- Rumi

Vicki Snyder-Young co-owner of the store Spirit & Crystal Connections in Rochester has started a healing group to assist with personal requests.  Every Monday the group gathers to focus the healing energy to the list of names that Vicki has collected.  If you know of someone (humans and animals) who would like to be included on the list or need further details please email - spiritcrystalconnections@gmail.com

Apophyllite is the stone of truth, clarity, and preservation. It energizes the crown chakra and helps to connect the user with their own personal spirit guides, angels, saints, or other general ethereal hang-abouts. In other words, it strengthens ones awareness of ones own immediate astral realm, those spirits surrounding you, personally. Apophyllite can also assist with astral travel, helping with the act itself as well as the retention of information that one can gleam from the experience. Apophyllite pyramids are especially powerful in this respect.

Apophyllite helps to clarify the muddled energy we come across in daily life, increasing our ability to see the truth of every situation. It also helps the user to clarify ones own energies, thoughts, and emotions, increasing ones ability to be truthful to her or himself as well as to other people.  (If you want a little extra support for this “truthful” kind of energy, use apophyllite along side with spalerite, which aids ones ability to detect deceit.)

Green apophyllite is a wonderful heart chakra stone. Along with the above attributes, it also possesses a cleansing, loving energy that clarifies the heart chakra and supports good self-esteem and self-acceptance. Green apophyllite is energizing and refreshing to ones spirit. It can leave one with an uplifted, happy feeling.

Apophyllite is often found growing with stilbite and/or heulandite, so here I will briefly cover their attributes as well.  Stilbite is a heart chakra stone whose energy is gentle and nurturing. Like green apophyllite, stilibite promotes healthy self-esteem and self love. Stilbite also encourages the love of all living creatures, helping the user to recognize the inter-connection between all living things on Earth.  Heulandite strengthens the connection between the present time and the ancient past, helping one to understand the cultures, deads, and mindsets of those that have come before us. Heulandite encourages the understanding of “how” and “why” humanity evolves to a certain time and place.

Apophyllite is one of my favorite stones.  It has beautiful clarity with a very unique structure.  Apophyllite’s energy is strong, clear, and high-frequency but not too overbearing.

Although Apophyllite is found all over the world, some of the biggest and loveliest specimens come from India.

About Christina: Christina Hall grew up in Henrietta, NY and currently resides in Rochester with her husband and two children. Christina has been collecting minerals since the age of 8, and has been studying the metaphysics of rocks and minerals since she was 12 years old. After a brief time at American University in D.C. to study politics, she came back to her hometown and focused on her first love of mineral collecting and meditation. She is the co-owner of Hall of Gems at 662 Monroe Avenue in Rochester, NY.  You can find many stones for sale at yarsgems@facebook.  She refers to these resources: "Love is in the Earth" by Melody, "Earth Power" by Scott Cunningham, "The Crystal Bible" by Judy Hall, and "Good Magick" by Marina Medici.


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​The word “Solstice” comes from the Latin words, sol sistere – “sun stand still”. Indeed the sun does seem to stand still as the sun reaches it’s furthest point from the equator. Summer Solstice harkens the longest day of the year, when warmth spills upon the land and fruitful bounties are enjoyed by all creatures. In the northern hemisphere of our planet, the summer solstice occurs during June. This year it is June 21st and many pagans will be celebrating this one day with reverence and celebration. 

Long ago, pagans didn’t denote “midsummer” as the first day of summer—for it wasn’t then and isn’t now—save for our modern society deemed the day so. How ironic that after this longest day the daylight gets shorter! So our ancestors realized Summer Solstice is the beginning of the END of summer. 

Our ancestors were not ruled by convention or committee—no, they were ruled by the seasons of harvest, sexual awareness in the Spring of all living creatures and the need to store for the winter months ahead. Survival depended on their sensitivity to abnormal weather patterns, bad harvest years, the swelling and receding ocean waves for good fishing days. 

The summer solstice is often the time of the first harvest and hence a celebration of this bounty has been held for hundreds of years. The day lasts so long, the gaiety lasted well into night, with dancing, food, mead, wine and merriment. The sun, Sol, brings life to growing crops in the field and warmth to the bones of the workers who harvested. This is reflected in the midsummer rituals or plucking herbs, for this special day brings added vigor, potency to the herbs for medicine and spells. 

When night approaches, the pagan fires will burn brightly in honor of the sun. This is a time to strengthen the bonds between the participants as they chant to Sol’s continued service to the earth and it’s creatures. Some sacred sites, around the world will draw huge crowds as the Summer Solstice is honored. Stonehenge has an entrance-way that was aligned with the solstice sunrise and is a popular gathering place for modern druids and others enthusiasts on midsummer’s day. 

For Wiccans, Midsummer is one of the four “Lesser Sabbats” or “Low Holidays”. Some now call this day Litha, the day of the Lord of Light, the Oak King who sits solidly on a greenwood throne.  Across the world, many pagans will throw off the hooded robes and bath skyclad under the sun while honoring Sol. Gypsies will also honor this day in similar abandon to their hard work during harvest and their respect for Gaia. 

So as the Celts & Slavs celebrate with dancing & bonfires to help increase the sun’s energy, the Chinese honor Li, the Chinese Goddess of Light. One of the most enduring rituals of the Summer Solstice is were the Druids’ celebrate of the “wedding of Heaven and Earth”, that brought about our present day belief of a “lucky” wedding in June. 

Pagan spirit gatherings or festivals are very common in June and I will festival, eat and drink all day with pagans. Women will wear braided circlets of clover and flowers on their hair, wrists and ankles. Men will wear chaplets of oak leaves and flowers around their heads in honor of the Oak King. On Midsummer’s Eve, I will join the group, assembling to light a sacred fire, then stay up all night to welcome the moon and the dawn. For this year’s “Honey Moon” I will drink the mead made from fermented honey, leap through the edge of the bonfire flames and pick herbs to use in white magick throughout the remaining year. I will wear the protective garland made of herbs and flowers and little else as I bath in the moon’s glow, skyclad. Being Irish I will place yarrow under my pillow to dream of my next lover. 

Life comes from Sol, we are all dependent on this magnificent ball of gas, and for one day I will be pagan and in awe. I will give respect and honor as would a child, bearing witness to the beginning of “dream-time” as visions of future events will unfold at nightfall. I will throw nine different types of herbs on the balefire. Just picked-Mistletoe, vervain, St. John’s Wort, heartsease, lavender, and others chosen from herbs typical of this season such as fresh yarrow. 

I will swim in the lake as water is an important part of the Midsummer pagan ritual. Like in times past we will swim in waters, flowing toward the rising sun as it climbs in the Summer Solstice morning sky. This is healing, cleansing and protective. Gathering the dew of Midsummer bestows health to whoever drinks the elixir. Fetch running water of Midsummer morn and mix it with ashes from the bonfire that night. On the next day at home, sprinkled the mixture around the house, yard and on loved ones to bestow protection and luck. 

May you have wonderful dreams, a fruitful harvest and find the love you search during this Summer Solstice. 

Https://thepaganandthepen.wordpress.com/2010/06/20/celebrating-the-pagan-summer-solstice/lessed Be,












Empathic children have nervous systems which react more quickly and strongly to external stimuli including stress. Sometimes they feel too much but don’t know how to manage the sensory overload. They see more, hear more, smell more, intuit more, and experience emotions more. For instance, they may not like strong food smells in the kitchen, perfumes, harsh bright lights (particularly florescent bulbs), or loud talking. They prefer soft (not scratchy) clothes, beauty, nature, and having one or a few close friends rather than many acquaintances. Their sensitivities can get assaulted by our coarse world, and this affects their behavior. Since most empathic children can’t articulate the cause of their upset, enlightened parents can help them identify triggers and offer the solutions I’ll present below to relieve their distress. 

As parents, you need to know what overstimulates your empathic children and avoid those activities. Doing so calms them and wards off exhaustion, tantrums, and anxiety. Common triggers include: excessive busy-ness such as overscheduling their day without breaks, multi-tasking, no alone time, and violent television programs or newscasts especially at night. Following exposure to any of these factors, children might find it harder to fall asleep and require more down time before bed to unwind. (Sensitive children may take longer to calm down at night than other children since their systems are slower to transition from stimulation to quiet). Also empathic children can feel and absorb other people’s emotional discomfort, especially from parents and close friends. Because they are “super-responders” their hurts cut deep and their joys are extra-joyous. 

Empathic children don’t have the same mechanisms as non-empath children to screen out light, noise, and the chaos of crowds, for example at large sports events. Cheering, clapping, and booing can feel jarring, even painful, to them. Nor do they respond well to loud music, honking, hammering or power tools. These sounds agitate them as opposed to the peaceful effect of birds chirping, water elements, or gentle wind chimes. Empathic children may cry more and cope by retreating into solitude to self-regulate sensory overload. 

Typically, society or schools don’t give these exceptional children much understanding. Conventional physicians and teachers often label them as “shy,” “antisocial” or “fussy,” or they’re diagnosed with social phobia, an anxiety disorder, or depression. In addition, they may be quieter, thoughtful, deep, and gentle rather then highly verbal or assertive--which others can perceive as withdrawn. Because of these misconceptions, your role is critical in supporting their sensitivities, intuition, creativity, wisdom, and in teaching them tools to cope with the world. 

As an empathic child, I received no support from my physician-parents about my sensitivities--not because they didn’t love me, but because they didn’t know what an empath was and were never taught how to understand my special needs. They wanted me to be happy, but they didn’t think encouraging my sensitivities would lead me there. They called me “overly sensitive” and said that I needed a “thicker skin.” These “helpful” comments made me believe there was something wrong with me. Because I felt misunderstood and invisible as an empathic child, I have become especially passionate about educating parents about raising their empathic children. 

Knowing that your child is an empath is the first step toward bringing out the best in him or her. Then you can support your son’s and daughter’s sensitivities as an expression of their excellence, compassion, and depth. To determine if your child is an empath, take the following assessment. 

Is Your Child an Empath?

Does he or she feel things deeply?
Does he or she get over-simulated by people, crowds, noise, or stress?
Does he or she have strong reactions to sad or frightening scenes in books or movies?
Does he or she want to escape and hide from family gatherings because there’s too much going on?
Does he or she feel “different” than other kids or complain about not fitting in?
Is he or she a good listener and compassionate with others?
Does he or she surprise you with intuitive comments about others or yourself?
Does he or she have a strong connection to nature, plants, animals, or stuffed animals?
Does he or she require a lot of time alone rather than playing with other kids?
Does he or she take on a friend’s stress or upset?
Does he or she take on your own or other people’s emotions or stress—and act out when you’re angry, upset or depressed?
Does he or she have one best friend or a few good friends rather then a large social network? 

Here’s how to score this assessment. 9-12 yesses indicate this child has extremely strong empathic traits. 6-9 yesses indicates strong empathic traits. 4-8 yesses indicate moderate empathic traits. 1-3 yesses indicate some empathic traits. Zero yesses indicate that the child is not operating primarily as an empath.  No matter where your child is on this spectrum, he or she would benefit from being taught to honor his or her specific sensitivities. 

The New Generation of Indigo Children 

In the last decade, much has been said about “Indigo Children,” whom I believe are a type of empathic children with strikingly developed intuitive abilities and insight into people and world situations. They are the opposite of the self-absorbed, instant gratification generation who have a large presence in our culture today. Indigos are a great new wave of children with more awakened intuition, sensitivities, clarity of purpose, and interest in changing the planet for the good. They’re often described as “old souls” who have a profound grasp of the human condition. Some say they have lived many lifetimes to attain that knowledge. One patient describes her seventeen-year-old daughter Anna as an indigo child. She had prophetic dreams, drew “angels” in her coloring book since she was young, and saw various spirit visitors in their home. She could also intuitively read people and know what they were deeply feeling. Now, Anna wants to go into a profession to help stop global warming, a phenomenon which hurts her soul because she says, “I feel the pain of how climate change is threatening our Earth.” 

Indigo children have unique needs that require parents and teachers to change how they treat them. Being sensitive to their gifts will help them achieve balance in their lives and avoid frustration. Indigo children bring the promise of a higher consciousness and way of perceiving what happens politically, socially, and economically. As empaths, they bring the possibility for a better world with more mutual understanding and harmony in our personal and global relationships. If you have such exceptional children, nurture their unique gifts. 

Special Challenges for Sensitive Boys 

Empathic boys sometimes have it harder than girls because of shaming cultural stereotypes such as “big boys don’t cry.” Sensitive boys are often humiliated for their gentleness and compassion, and are told to “man-up.” They grow up ashamed of who they are.  They may cry more as children to cope with being overwhelmed or when they sense other people’s pain. Sometimes they shed tears of joy when they’re happy or touched by the tenderness of life. They tend to dislike the adrenaline rush and high noise level of violent action films or video games, and they avoid heavy contact sports like football or boxing where risk and potential injury are involved. As a result, they might not be invited to participate in these activities with their friends. Sensitive boys are hurt by this rejection and feel as if they don’t fit in. Boys in western culture are often reinforced for having risky behavior but empathic boys aren’t usually risk-takers. They prefer safer and more predictable outcomes. Since they’re intuitively aware of danger signals, they may be more cautious, which can be misinterpreted as being a “wimp.” 

 You want to help your son accept his gift of sensitivity, yet also realistically appreciate the cultural stereotypes associated with gentleness in men such as being feminine, “too soft” or “unmanly.” In the old John Wayne tough guy paradigm of masculinity, men are strong, silent, and don’t express pain or fear or tears lest they be considered weak. In the new enlightened paradigm, men are strong enough to be vulnerable and gentle at certain times and secure enough to show tears. This doesn’t mean that they are over-feminized, but that they have learned to embrace both their masculine and the feminine sides to become a whole person. Talk with your son about the positive aspects of being a compassionate, empathic boy--how he’s thoughtful, smart, caring, creative, intuitive, and attuned to people and nature. When your son knows you support him, it builds his self-esteem. 

 Sadly, some empathic boys rebel by trying to be someone they are not, or they get involved with alcohol or other addictions to stifle their sensitivities so they can fit in with their peers. They may become angry at being shamed, rejected, or bullied by other boys. Then they may act out their anger or fear at home or at school. One mother told me, “My sensitive son was bullied at school. He broke down saying he doesn't trust people. He’s afraid to leave the house because of the bullying. He doesn’t want to get hurt again.” Discuss bullying with your son by validating his feelings. Tell him that he isn’t to blame. The bully is the one with serious emotional problems, not him. Never tolerate anyone shaming your son when he expresses sensitive behavior. Stand up for him. Involve the school authorities to send the message that there is zero tolerance for bullying. 

On the other hand, sensitive fathers are fantastic role models for their sons. Fathers who are proud to be loving and sensitive (even if they’re not empaths) give the right message to their boys: good fathers are strong men who have good hearts and aren’t afraid to express their feelings to their families. As a parent, your role modeling goes a long way by showing your sons how to be a well-balanced man and lead a caring, loving life. 

Excerpt from Dr. Judith Orloff’s The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People (Sounds True, 2017) 

About Judith: Judith Orloff, MD is author of The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, upon which her articles are based. Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating empaths and highly sensitive people in her private practice. To learn more about empaths and her free empath support newsletter as well as Dr. Orloff's books and workshop schedule, visit www.drjudithorloff.com her website.

Recently I did an exercise during my morning quiet time and the results and benefits blew me away. I sat in my meditation chair with eyes closed. Holding my hands to my heart I asked my Soul, “What is it that I value most?” I quickly bypassed the obvious such as my kids, my family; my work. I sped past the less obvious answers of safety, fulfillment; relationships and dove deep into the heart of the question.

What is it that I must have and if I don’t have it I feel lost to my Self, I feel out of alignment with who I am?

To my surprise the answers came quickly. It was as if my Soul couldn’t wait a minute longer to give me the answers. I wrote quickly in my journal: authenticity, grounded, love, freedom and service. I then spent some time contemplating each one. Before I knew it I had a complete list of what I value most.

As I reviewed the list I realized that these attributes offered a beautiful foundation for everything in my life. If I could be authentic, grounded, loving and offer freedom and service in my relationships, in my work, and in my spiritual practice, I would truly be living from the heart. As I basked in this realization, another question was raised.

What if all the guidance I receive; everything the universe offers or blocks from entering or asks me to let go of, were actually leading me to what I value most? The class that I wanted to take but my intuition said, “not this one”, the dream book that I am writing, the quiet winter spent reflecting instead of doing, letting something go that I wanted to keep forever, allowing something new into my life...was this the Soul giving what was most sacred to me?

In modern spirituality Holy Grail means a “symbol of what leads a person to union with the divine.” The term also implies “any greatly desired and sought after objective: an ultimate ideal or reward.” Was I being led to my Holy Grail? Was I being given what I value most but just didn’t recognize it?

I began to review past events, situations and circumstances through this new lens. I focused on the five values and then revisited a relationship, an encounter, a move, a work project - all from the vantage point that this was giving me what I value. I was astounded at how different it all looked!

A Sufi quote then came to mind. “The truth can never be found by seeking yet only seekers can find it.” A seeker is someone who is attempting to find something. When I asked the question, “What is it I value most?” I became a seeker because I was recognizing what I wanted to find.  And knowing that; lo and behold I found it!

These five values are now my meditation focus. Each morning I am in touch with what I value most. I then let the universe give me what I want. The best part is that when it arrives I recognize it as the gift that it is!

​About Patti: I came to the Course in January of 2000. I have dedicated these past years to the study and practice of ACIM principles and teachings.  I have discovered in my own life that the promises of this spiritual path are real and possible.  I have had numerous and profound experiences when applying these principles to all aspects of my life.  This has resulted in a deep, lasting peace; an easier way to be in the world; more joyous and harmonious relationships and a deeper sense of connection to others and to God.   I am fellow traveler and a forever student. I share these services in hopes that it will strengthen your trust and faith to follow your Holy Spirit.  







Healing with A Course In Miracles


I love Spring. It is my very favorite season of the year. Nature awakens from the numbing freeze of winter and a long rest of stillness, quietness, sleep. Then a riotous dance of creativity that begins with the greening … that is what I call it. Subtly at first, then in a rush, the grasses and plants begin to green and burst forth everywhere you look. The colors in springtime are like no other and are splendid and delicious – those tender yellow and pale greens and the colors of the first flowers are so refreshing after the muted colors of winter. 

Yesterday I was taking my morning walk with my dog, Samantha. Our walks together are slower and shorter than they once were, but it is a part of her daily purpose (and mine to help her) to rediscover and reclaim her street queendom. As we were walking I noticed something I had never noticed before. Many trees that are first to blossom do so without first sprouting their true leaves. The life force that was resting since autumn now expressed with abandon, bursting forth in an explosion of creative energy to flower and to reproduce. Other trees will follow, each in their own time. Our experiences follow many cycles. 

Recently I found myself unexpectedly undergoing a personal renewal. On the morning we had a 2 foot snowfall in March, I was riding in an ambulance en route to the hospital with a case of severe sepsis and a kidney stone. My adventures felt as if I had been sucked through a rabbit hole into an alternate dimension. I was experiencing life as if I were someone else, somewhere else, at some other time. It felt unreal. I had to surrender… surrender and trust. In everything I observed and experienced, I looked for all the goodness and magic I would see, and I am happy to say it was everywhere and often in unexpected places, each day different. 

At first I could not get out of bed without total assistance. Then each of these : Breathing deeply. Talking. Sitting up. Standing. Sitting down. Thinking. Bathing. Eating. Sleeping. Focusing. Walking. Stretching. Each one a triumph that came with such appreciation and sense of self-empowerment. 

This experience, I told one of the nurses, was incredible. It changed my life and my perspective of it. I felt transported to another realm, and from there understand and appreciate so many things I did not before. I saw the network of doctors and nurses and all sorts of other service providers of care working together to care for myself and others in a way I had never seen. I gained understanding for others who are ailing and unable to help themselves, and how they might feel emotionally, mentally and physically. And most profoundly the magic, joy and love I saw everywhere, every day. It became so clear the things that matter and those that don’t. 

Thank you to the teams of doctors who step by step figured out what was wrong and how to remedy it. Thank you to the nurses who helped me do EVERYTHING. Thank you to the nurse who offered to braid my hair and taught me how to make a hair tie from a surgical glove. Thank you “Sunshine” and the lovers of purple and animals. Thank you all. Thank you to the dining room person who so thoughtfully wanted to be sure I EAT. Thank you to the young cleaning person who gave me inspiration and shared her dream that someday she might become a nurse. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you to my precious son Nick and my Mother who both did everything in their power to keep the home fires burning while trying to make sense of what had happened. Thank you to Samantha and my cats Harley and Shaemus who are helping me heal and feel loved each day. Thank you to friends who sent healing and light and love. Thank you to the divine love stream that flows through us all every moment, through our spirits and bodies and hearts, bathing our cells in love and wellbeing and wholeness. And thank you too, for allowing me to share my story with you. 

About Tammy: Tammy is a Manifesting & Self-Love Coach who helps others feel their way to a joyous life. She lives in Upstate New York and is mom to one incredible human teenager and a handful of delightful furry people as well.  he has been a spiritual seeker for a lifetime and has been studying and practicing the Law of Attraction for over 10 years, finding it an empowering & liberating tool for self-growth and self-actualization.







Spirit & Crystal Connections' Healing Circle

Some folks are earthing, walking in bare feet, baring their soles to Pachamama.

Mother Earth. Soul Play Soul Care, we find ways to nurture our souls. Sitting here in my backyard surrounded by my works in progress- veggies in a ratsed bed, hanging bols of Lobelia, Begonia and orange Pansy, I drink in the peace. Cardinals, Robins, a neighborly Woodpecker cluck and drum, setting the beat. We breathe. 

Colors of the spectrum display their arrays in purples, magentas, violets and yellows. Delicate bells, Lilies of the Valley dot pure bright white under Lilac, each flower keeping the soul of its parents and adding its own youthful artistry to the garden. Veggies have wintered over, long leeks and November's garlics. Newcomer tomatoes, called green zebras, French Tarragon, Rosemary, Dill and Purple Cabbage stand in this tiny patch of plenty.

I am grateful to have these gardens, little plant souls to savor and nurture, to sit with, being still.  
In Backyard I write my words, reflecting on gratitude and the power of creation.  Once a few square feet scattered with debris, now a tidy farm, weeded and mindfully mulched. All this life shows up, underground miracles unseen in icy moons. Now as Spring Maiden lifts the veils of chill, all manner of plant life evolves, some for feathered cousins to perch upon, some for dining upo, some just to be, glory in shape, hue and form.

About Maryanna: I have been practicing Shamanism for the past ten years, known as The Backyard ShaWoman, I integrates the works of Jim Pathfinder Ewing, Sandra Ingerman, Peruvian Shamanism (Villoldo), and Stephen Farmer. I teach classes in Shamanic Reiki Certification, Shamanism, and visual arts.  For me Shamanism has become a mode of living; it can quickly clear genetic blueprints that traditional Western modalities may not and teaches us to live in harmony with all; All is Sacred.